Welcome back to The Valley Episode 4 recap, “Capri Chaos.” In last week’s episode, the gang couldn’t get through a civilized dinner, so tables were slammed, and voices were raised. The arguing continues as some decide they need to take a step back from their friendship with Kristen. Jax opens up about how he knows he needs to be a better husband, and Janet starts to look a bit like the villain. By the end, most everything is smoothed over, but the question remains: For how long? Here’s everything that went down in The Valley Episode 4.
Jax makes sense
Even though Kristen claims she couldn’t be more sorry, the Capri dinner/cycle of chaos continues, with Jax somehow being the voice of reason. Jax notes he doesn’t like everyone attacking one person, saying it’s “not cool,” and even accusing Janet of liking “to spew some sh*t, sit back and watch them tear it down. She’s a silent killer.”
Michelle still feels very much like an “assh*le that I have to state ‘I am not a racist.’” My heart does go out to Michelle since it is a very uncomfortable place to be, especially amongst friends.
I don’t love how Michelle referred to Kristen by calling her “a crazy person who didn’t want to feel attacked anymore. So she decided to attack me.” I think in Kristen’s mind, she was doing the right thing by repeating the gossip, but all it got her was a bunch of trouble. Jesse, who is going through his own relationship issues, tells Kristen, “You need to grow up a little bit, and I’m not being an assh*le when I say this, but you’re doing the same shit over and over again.” Umm, The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks
Zack’s defense
The red flag is waving when it comes to Zack, who is so adamantly fighting with Kristen that I think he forgot cameras caught him admitting that the Republican conversation did, in fact, happen. The faces that he pulled spoke volumes as he, too, tried to paint Kristen as the crazy girl from Vanderpump Rules.
Jax tells Kristen to call him out because if he is lying, he needs to be put on blast. Jax also shared that the whole fight is “exhausting. I just want to have a nice dinner, get drunk, and have some shots.” Again, I agree with Jax!
During the sit-down, Kristen expresses that she is beyond disappointed in Zack, who frankly only seems to be trying to cover his own ass. However, there’s a valid point that Janet is coming out of this smelling like roses when she was the instigator. Zack once again said he did tell Kristen parts of what was said, but the man seemed way angrier than he needed to be, claiming Kristen “steamed rolled” over him. The scene ends with Janet hitting low, claiming Kristen doesn’t even care about her unborn child.
Ominous text
Just when I thought Kristen was out of the woods, she texted Michelle. The message read: “I just wanted to assure you that you’re secrets are safe with me, and I don’t retaliate for the sake of my own mental health.” What the actual f*ck, Kristen?!
Neither Jesse nor Michelle seem to know what Kristen is referring to. If I had to take a stab, I would assume it was about their marriage troubles.
Love language 101
In a lighter moment, the guys, Jesse, Danny, and Jax, take their kids to the country fair. I swear, I will refer to them as the Stroller Mafia from now on. Between the cotton candy and the petting zoo, the guys also talk about their bedroom troubles.
We learn quickly that Jesse is turned on by Michelle’s Capri dinner reaction. “If she was this physical in the bedroom, we’d probably have six kids by now.” Danny, the resident love guru, asks, “Have you done the love language test?” Clearly, Jax and Jesse have no idea what he is talking about as the bar owner quips, “Can you get that done at CVS?” I’m dead!
The Valley continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE VALLEY EPISODE 4? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE DRAMA THAT’S ALREADY PLAYING OUT?