I used to look forward to watching Ashley “Messy” Darby on The Real Housewives of Potomac. She had a gift for being absolutely insufferable while somehow still making me laugh. She could deliver a low blow with a straight face, stir up an entire dinner party under the guise of seeking clarity, and then retreat into the youthful, did-I-do-that millennial persona she wore so well, dancing her life away on TikTok and in her confessionals. That Ashley was fun to watch.
But the Ashley we’re getting this season, the one insistent on blowing up everyone else’s spots while offering zero personal storylines of her own? Girl, what?
For a girl who used to hold her own awful marriage close to her chest, defending her ex from various butt-grabbing allegations and cheating rumors ad nauseam, Ashley is now seemingly stuck on doing this very same thing to other women. The grace she once begged for is nowhere to be found, and this shtick has officially gotten old.
Ashley Darby has more to offer RHOP than her usual gossip
Listen, no one watches RHOP for good behavior. If fans wanted to see grown women handle conflict maturely, they could tune into Lifetime, or perhaps Hallmark. But nope, we gather here for the shade, the arguments, and the occasional fun moments between fabulously delusional women instead. The chaos is part of the appeal, because it’s a welcome distraction from our own timelines, even if only for an hour each week.
Ashley used to understand this assignment. She could be mean, ridiculous, and genuinely funny in the same conversation. Even when she was wrong, there was usually something entertaining about how she handled her beefs. But now, too much of her screen presence seems to depend on somebody else having a bad day, and that’s disappointing, because Ashley is finally liberated from her past, so her storylines should be about THAT instead.
Yet here we are. Rather than giving us the vulnerable, complex journey of a woman starting over, Ashley seems to have defaulted to her old safety blanket: deflecting attention by treating everyone else’s marital struggles like her own personal playground. Meanwhile, she treats her own romantic life with Josh Gudenburr like top-secret tea, giving us nothing new to work with on RHOP.
Ashley isn’t the only RHOP star stirring up the wrong kind of drama
Season 11 opened with allegations about Tia Glover’s husband, Rob. He was reportedly using dating apps while presenting himself as single. Tia confronted him, and Rob reportedly acknowledged using the apps, telling her, according to Tia, that he hadn’t met anyone or started a relationship through them. Confronting this head-on was smart, especially since Ashley was already working behind the scenes, saying Rob had “some stuff that’s brewing in the streets.”
Dr. Wendy Osefo was completely right to call Ashley out on camera for looking so utterly thrilled by another woman’s potential marital collapse. In using Tia’s mess to help her stay relevant, Ashley looks petty, not iconic. Furthermore, it exposes her double standards, since she hated owning up to her past marital troubles. If Ashley wants people to root for her again, she needs to deal with her own stuff instead of poking at everyone else’s.
But to be fair, Ashley is not the only shady player in this sticky storyline. Gizelle Bryant and Stacey Rusch are right there beside her, keeping this deeply personal rumor mill churning. When Stacey defended her actions in interviews, she openly blamed Ashley for passing her the baton. Meanwhile, Gizelle, forever a Green-Eyed Bandit, was absolutely in on this, too.
And that’s what makes this situation so frustrating. There’s good drama, and there’s dark drama. And dark drama, frankly, has run its course on Bravo.
Tia Glover’s marriage shouldn’t be Ashley Darby’s main focus this season
Tia and Rob have been married for 17 years, and they have four children. So, whatever happens next in their marriage is theirs alone to figure out. No, that doesn’t make their relationship off-limits on RHOP. But Ashley showed downright giddiness at the prospect of their marriage falling apart, and that was … a choice.
As such, Tia’s marriage isn’t the only problem here. The problem is how quickly her personal situation became another opportunity for Ashley and co to pass around her muddy happenings, focusing their storylines on who knew what while pointing fingers in every direction during the fallout. Sadly, Tia is left dealing with the real-life consequences. Meanwhile, Ashley gets herself another episode’s worth of drama.
That’s because Ashley knows how this works. She understands how a rumor can become a storyline overnight. That’s precisely why I’d like to see her show a little more awareness this season, while giving us something beyond the thrill of another human’s personal crisis.
Ashley is finally in a position to tell a different story about herself, one that doesn’t revolve around her ex-husband or another woman’s relationship. I’d actually like to watch her figure out who she is in this new chapter of her life. But instead, she’s playing the same old game, and it’s getting harder to care about her scenes on RHOP.
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs on Bravo every Sunday at 8/7c. Episodes stream the following day on Peacock.